Next time you’re approaching a situation that makes you feel uncomfortable or challenges you, listen to your self-talk. Notice how much of it is positive. Are the negative thoughts louder? How do you drown them out? Do you even try, or do they take control and influence the outcome?
Typically, when we’re not feeling confident we talk ourselves out of things. We get critical of ourselves, calling into question our abilities. We can also rubbish the situation - ‘Well, if I can’t do it easily, it’s not worth doing. What’s the point? Everyone else who does it is a loser…’ etc. and it’s easier to hear these thoughts. (Remember, our brains have a negative bias).
Here, I filmed myself attempting a lift I struggle with and I tried to capture some of the things that go through my own head in these moments. I’m sure these kinds of thoughts are familiar! I'm currently working on choosing my thoughts a bit more carefully when it comes to doing things like this that I don't feel confident doing. I know it all begins and ends in the brain, so I'm practising what I preach! You don't need to talk yourself up to a great height, but just a wee bit of encouragement and reminding yourself of what you are capable of can really help.
Here are some tips to help you quieten your inner critic and replace it with an inner supporter:
Next time, stop and notice your thoughts. This takes practice as our self-talk is so natural and ingrained that we don't notice the things we think/say about ourselves. It's just part of the background. Be patient with yourself here.
Challenge the thought. Where is it coming from? DO you have any evidence to back it up? Or is it just the way you're used to thinking about yourself?
Bear in mind that the brain can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality so, although thoughts aren’t real, they do have the power to create our reality. So it’s important to choose them wisely. Once you're in the habit of noticing and challenging negative self-talk, try to replace these thoughts with positive ones. Even if it feels strange, forced or you don’t believe them initially, keep going with this. Over time it makes a big difference.
Don't talk to/about yourself in a way that you wouldn't talk about the people you care about. You have to be your own cheerleader as well as everyone else's!
Solution focused hypnotherapy can help you feel more confident and choose more empowering, uplifting thoughts. Contact me if you feel you need some extra support with this. I love to help people develop confidence and self-belief.
(Yes, my form is disgusting. 🤦♀️ But I did it and I’m taking it. 😁 I’m choosing to see my win, not the ugliness of the attempt).
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