Why isn’t Tapping working for me?

‘Have you ever found that tapping doesn’t work for someone?’

I had someone ask me this last night.

While it’s true that not every technique or modality works for everyone, often with tapping, it’s that something in the process is getting in the way. Although it’s a fairly simple process, there can be more to it than tapping your face and thinking about a problem.

Here are some common reasons someone might not feel a shift:

• The issue is too vague.  Tapping works best when we’re specific (a particular memory, trigger, bodily sensation or moment). For example, when tapping on a memory, try focusing on specific aspects that trigger an emotional response: a tone of voice, an expression.. Take each aspect in turn and tap on each one till the memory feels less emotionally charged.

• You’re doubtful it will work. I think we all approach EFT with a bit of skepticism initially. But if this has become doubt, it might get in the way. Start there - tap on that doubt till you reduce it enough to clear the way.

• The mind wanders away from the problem.  If attention drifts, the emotional charge we’re working with can disappear. We need to experience the emotional charge to allow it to clear.

• Staying in analysis rather than feeling the emotion.  I realised I did this when I first started: questioning or analysing the emotion instead of just feeling and being with it. Tapping works with the body and nervous system, not just the thinking mind.

• The real root hasn’t been reached yet.  Sometimes what looks like the problem is actually just the surface layer: e.g. if tapping on current work-related stress, the deeper issue may be rooted in past experiences that need to be uncovered and cleared first.

• The wording doesn’t resonate emotionally.  The nervous system responds to language that feels true and specific. Use your own words. If working with a practitioner, correct them if their wording doesn’t resonate. This is why just using tap-along videos will only take you so far.

• You’re ignoring what’s coming to mind for you while you tap because it seems irrelevant. If something comes up, it might seem random but often it needs to be explored, even if it initially seems completely unrelated to the original problem.

• You’re not ready to go there. Sometimes when tapping, a deeper underlying issue that you’re not ready to explore might raise its head. Again, working with a practitioner can help guide you safely through this and get the resolution you need.

• Protective parts may be blocking change.  A part of you might believe the problem is keeping you safe, or there might be another subconscious reason why you are holding onto the problem. This is also known as ‘secondary gain’. A trained practitioner is skilled in helping you uncover and clear this.

• The emotional intensity isn’t activated.  If you feel numb, disconnected or really calm there may be little charge for tapping to work with.

• The practitioner may not have asked the right questions. If this happens, let the practitioner know. It’s your session and should always be a collaboration.

Often when tapping “doesn’t work”, it’s actually a clue pointing us toward what needs attention next.

Working with a trained practitioner is a good idea if you’re struggling to feel the shift or are ready to explore an issue in depth.

I’m always happy to answer any questions about this. If you want to chat more, book a free call here.

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